LES FONCTIONNAIRES ET LES PERCEPTEURS
Let's play war. I'm the general and you're the martyr. Sirens wail. Take shelter, tremble, stay put. War has begun. Without any warning. Fall back: shore up the attic. The first wave of resistance rounded up. Mercilessly. Everyone a winner. The time of terror is over. We have survived. Catch the traitors, string them up, teach them a lesson. Especially my quisling neighbour.
WHERE ONE DREAMS OF THE FRAIL GIRL ON HER BIKE, THE TALL BLONDE ONE WITH THE DARK GREEN EYES, THE NAVEL OF THERESA, THE COUSIN FROM AMERICA, THE HORNY GLANCE OF THE WOMAN BEHIND THE COUNTER, THE CURRENT GIRLFRIEND'S YOUNGER SISTER, ERECTIONS AND ORGASMS, THE BEAUTIFUL BREASTS OF JEANINE, HELENA'S ARMS, ELLEN'S HAIR, IRENE'S MOUTH AND CECILE'S PUBIC HAIR.
-The moment-
The day is over. Low sunset. A man dives into the water from a diving board. A short movement, a sound, a slight change of scent, an interruption in the smoothness of the water's surface. The moment almost too brief to experience. The same man, this time on the high diving board. Standing quietly, concentrating. He sprints to the edge and jumps. A salto mortale followed by a double screw. A fraction of a second. Splashing water, sound, a slight change of scent, the surface breaks. Almost too brief to experience. Too brief to see it properly, too brief to remember, too brief to judge the difference.
WHERE ONE IS WARNED ABOUT PICKPOCKETS AND ROBBERS, TEDDY BOYS, PAEDOPHILES, CHILDREN AND UNLEASHED DOGS, ROLLERSKATERS ROLLING PAST, MONSTERS, SALESMEN, CHANTING SUPPORTERS, TRAMPS, POLITICIANS, FORGERS, DRUNKEN STUDENTS, MASQUERADES AND PARTIES, NEIGHBOURS AND FAMILY MEMBERS, SMART ALECS AND SWINDLERS, CIVIL SERVANTS AND TAX COLLECTORS.
-The experience-
She was standing next to me, not knowing what she was watching. Was it an illusion or did she have something in her eye? As if different images interfered and merged with each other. Was she a victim of tricks, holograms or computer manipulation? Wincing, trying to focus but seeing only a continuously moving stage set with too many actors. Irritated that she couldn't see what she was looking at - no recognition, no clues. Everything seemed to evaporate. Amazed at how sight influenced the way she thought, how different she now felt. Time, distance and scale were no longer distinguishable. Colours changed their meaning, matter seemed to vanish. Initially she was scared and tried to resist. Later she started to enjoy it. Her thoughts happier, her pace more relaxed, her surroundings whirling. She was beautiful and became even more so, there, next to me.
WHERE ONE IS REQUESTED TO BEAR IN MIND THAT OPENING HOURS HAVE CHANGED, NOT TO USE RUDE LANGUAGE, TO WEAR A TIE, NOT TO DRINK ANY ALCOHOL, TO EMPATHISE WITH OTHERS, TO BEHAVE DECENTLY, NOT TO KISS HIS OR HER LOVER IN PUBLIC, TO FOLLOW DIRECTIONS, TO LOOK NO ONE STRAIGHT INTO THE EYE, TO STRICTLY FOLLOW THE HOUSE RULES.
-The impossibility of experience-
I dreamt about an escape route last night. I found myself in a huge house where I had never been before. By a small entrance, a massive wooden relief hung on the wall. Thoughtlessly I walked up to one of the protruding panels and pulled it down. I pressed the strange-looking button that emerged. Looking into a black hole that appeared to be an entrance. I can't remember whether I actually went in. Suddenly I find myself by the side of an Italian square, looking at the same house, now from the outside. Shaped like a long box with an extremely big, pointed roof, the last building left on the fringe of an immense square. Its long wall slowly transformed into perfectly transparent glass, dissolving in its surroundings so completely you could hardly speak of its disappearance. Only the square remained. Empty, water in the distance.
WHERE ONE THINKS ABOUT SKYSCRAPERS AND OFFICE BUILDINGS, FACTORIES AND BUSINESS CENTRES, INDUSTRIAL AND RESIDENTIAL AREAS, PARKS AND GARDENS, SWIMMING POOLS AND AMUSEMENT PARKS, SCHOOLS AND LEISURE CENTRES, EMBASSIES AND CONCERT BUILDINGS, CITY HALLS AND ZOOS, CHURCHES AND HOSPITALS, STATIONS AND SQUARES, HIGH RISE BUILDINGS AND FAMILY HOUSES, SHOPS AND WORKSHOPS, APARTMENTS AND PIEDS-À-TERRE.
-The place-
Tens of birdcages with twittering canaries decorate the entrance. Amongst them one lonely parrot. A large, round room with pillars and a concave floor. Behind each pillar, a smaller, cylindrical room. At three different points the rooms converge inexplicably into the large room. Complete circles don't exist. Searching for a centre, for a point where you could grasp the room, or rather the rooms, automatically starting to walk, carefully. Convoluted pillars, their details so elaborate that they become almost morbid, the scale overwhelming, prompting a slight distrust. Withdrawal is not an option. The experience wouldn't have been any less enjoyable with a slighty less abundant display. An eternal battle between ultimate pleasure and reason. Pleasure wins, fortunately. Especially when you discover slowly that the richness has nothing to do with decoration or decorum, but apparently serves a purpose, though one that cannot be described. The sun is a parallactic triangle, the glow an autonomous movement, independent from its source. Hang on to your vertigo.
WHERE ONE OBSERVES THE PYRAMIDS AND THE EIFFEL-TOWER, THE TOWER OF PISA OR DEVOTIONAL PICTURES, GLASSES WITH INSCRIPTIONS, THE CHALICE WITH THE TOWN ARMS, PRINTED SCARVES AND WICKER BASKETS, SILVER TEASPOONS AND ASHTRAYS, THE FRAMED PORTRAIT OF THE LOCAL KING, LEATHER PURSES, PLAYING CARDS WITH NUDES, BANGLES, BAGS, STONE BOXES AND INFINITE NUMBERS OF POSTCARDS.
-The impossibility of place-
Everyone appeared excited. Cheering anxiously, awaiting our guide who had promised us that this would be the moment suprème of this excursion. Then he gave us the usual information, dates, wars and natural disasters. If you were unaware of the original function of this place, you would never have guessed. We looked at old, weather beaten architecture, commanding respect because of its age. It was difficult for us to describe the particularity of this place, more so since we were to visit other, similar places. However, our guide didn't label those as moments suprèmes, nor were they mentioned in our travelogue. Sooner or later you just can't help but feel indifferent.
WHERE IT IS PROHIBITED TO TALK LOUDLY, TO SPIT, TO STEP ON THE GRASS, TO BURGLE, TO THREATEN TO KILL ONE'S NEIGHBOUR, TO SMOKE, TO DANCE, TO CURSE, TO PARK, TO STEAL, TO DESTROY, TO PLAY WAR, TO DROWN ONE'S MOTHER, TO BOTHER LITTLE GIRLS, TO LET YOUR THOUGHTS WANDER, TO STICK OUT YOUR NECK.